A greedy doctor with Nats’ cash, yesterday
By Harold Shippmann, Health Correspondent
North Britain’s Council Leader, Nicola Sturgeous, last night caused fury amongst the medical community by raising health workers’ pay by 3%.
Handful
Addressing a handful of delegates at the Nats’ summer conference in Aberdeen the dictatorial Sturgeous said she’s be making the pay rise an immediate thing and that those working in the NHS would receive the increase “in their next pay packet.”
Naturally this sparked scenes of wild jubilation among the tiny crowd of 8000 packed into the hall, but across the rest of the political spectrum there was little in the way of support for the move, but plenty of contempt.
On Purpose
“The Nats are doing this on purpose” spat Tory Branch Manager Ruth Haversome. “They are quite clearly going out their way to improve the lives of health workers in this region: they’re not even subtle about it anymore. Independence!
“Tory policy is based entirely upon keeping the North Britons servile to London and forcing a sense of British National identity on the illiterate masses. This outrageous move by the Council leader flies full in the face of this policy, and I’m simply not going to stand for it. Independence!
Border
“NHS workers in North Britain will now earn more than those on the right side of the border. What kind of example will that set? How can we paper over the cracks when the Nats just keep widening them?
“Independence!”
Foulkes
Labour Branch Manager Richard Lennon was similarly scathing of the move. “Ask Ruth again, I’ll just agree with whatever she says.
“Lord Foulkes normally has plenty to say about this, but I wouldn’t ask him just now as it’s his nap time in the House of Lords. Maybe try him again around 9pm.”
Winkie
The Library Democrats’ northern representative Willie Winkie was unavailable for comment as we couldn’t find him and nobody could remember what he looks like.
Dangerous
Sturgeous is playing a dangerous game though, as somebody in London told us something about oil and the pound which we’re touting as being bad, despite the fact it isn’t.
Editorial:
Are YOU prepared to sit back and allow the Nats to improve the lives of overworked NHS staff in North Britain? Then join our campaign to tell the Council Leader loudly and clearly: NHS NO!
Simply write the slogan “NHS NO” onto your windows or car bonnet and spread the word.
Daily Rancid 